Saying the words

[farawayfairy]

The 'I have suffered' thread has got me thinking and I wondered whether anyone felt the same. Was there a point where you found it hard to say that you had suffered? When it didn't feel right to call it abuse even though you knew it was? I'm not sure whether that makes sense to anyone but I'm not sure how else to explain it.

[jadedlabyrinth]

i have a hard time calling what happened abuse..right now im at saying it was wrong but thats without saying what the 'what' was..i have a hard time with talking and telling t what has happened in the past..i dont remember and that makes it harder

[brokeninside]

I have a hard time calling it abuse. Even now after its been a few months I can't really say that he abused me, I still make excuses for him..

[Katie]

Yes. Absolutely.
For me it comes in waves. I have a challenge separating out all or nothing thinking from it, too.

[Zedebee]

It makes sense,yes. I still find it hard to say it.
The hardest for me is to say the R word...

[Silent_Darkness]

Yeah I find it hard to say... and still don't see it as ab*se etc :/

[rustedchains]

I still don't say the r word. In fact, I'd never considered that that is what happened to me until my therapist used the word..

[jadedlabyrinth]

im having lots and lots of trouble with talking in t..its frustrating and disappointing and so so hard t is out of ideas on how to help me and tells me that its just up to me and shes right and i dont know how to make it better

[whirlpools]

could you write letters or notes to your therapist whilst you are out of sessions? or write down any dreams you have. or take photographs or drawings with you. then you have something palpable in front of you to focus on. maybe you could even take some chalky pastels and do some scribbles there? scribbling is good.

don't put yourself down for not being ready to talk about certain things at the moment. maybe try talking about your fears, or talking about feeling "stuck" in therapy. maybe you've just hit a blip and it'll get easier soon?

i find it hard to talk about abuse. i always refer to my childhood as being "my childhood", or "stuff from when i was little". never "abuse". i also find myself using child words for "boy/girl parts" - in fact, that's exactly what i say, and my psychologist is always correcting me

[gracefulsong]

its still very hard for me to use words.
hard to talk really in general, and nearly impossible to use The Words for what i just call Stuff.
my therapist pushes me alot with this lately and it upsets me hugely but i still cant say the words. i dont hate quite as much anymore that she says them but it took a year to hate it less and for it not to set off massive alarm reactions every single time.
i still dont like it. i still wish she would stop doing it and i wish there was no reason for it.

the closest ive been able to come is to say that i was hurt. or that there was some trauma in my past. or bad things happened.
we've talkedabout alot of the things but without my ever using TheWords.

[Katie]

'The Words' are hard, I agree - they carry a lot of pain.
Speaking them however means they are no longer a secret that eats you up from inside. That takes time, and can be a delicate balance.

[farawayfairy]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't say the words. Occasionally I can say them but not often and there's a specific event that has happened that I can't say anything about other than 'something happened' as the words are too scary.